My Humps
by OxVanillaPeachesxO
Summary: Konan listens to the radio...and only disaster awaits. AKATSUKI CRACK. My Humps owned by The Black Eyed Peas RATED T FOR YOUR INNOCENT EARS. And then some...


**Me: HOLY CRAPDONKEYS, I heard this song in my friend's car and to me, it was just BEGGING for an Akatsuki parody. My humps!?! xD This had me cracking up for HOURS.**

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It was a normal day at the Akatsuki base.

Kazuku was happily counting his money and humming a song along with it.

Deidara was yelling at Tobi to "SHUT THE FUCK UP, UN".

Tobi was running from his Senpai.

Pein was plotting to take over the world (again) in his office.

Konan was listening to a song on the radio.

Hidan was sacrificing half of Kazuku's money to Jashin.

Itachi was blankly staring at the TV screen.

Kisame was looking at pictures of bikinis.

Zetsu...well, Zetsu was..um...doing..._activities _with his dark side in his bedroom.

Yup, everything was normal. Or so it seemed.

All of a sudden, Konan came screaming out of her room, clutching her head. No one really paid any attention to her.

"HOLY SHITBUTTS! I HAVE A SONG STUCK IN MY CRANIUM!" she screamed and everyone sweatdropped comically. Who said "cranium" anymore? It was all about the balls, man.

"What is it, Konan-sama?" Itachi said through his teeth, not really caring what the woman said. Unexpectedly, Tobi started screaming:

**Tobi:**

**What you gon' do with all that junk?  
All that junk inside your trunk?**

**Everyone looked at him strangely. He shrugged. Then Konan replied:**

**Konan:**

**I'ma get, get, get, get, you drunk,  
Get you love drunk off my hump.**

Then all of the Akatsuki members gaped at Konan, shocked. What the hell was going on here?!

Then Tobi and Konan started singing.

**Konan:**

**My hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump,  
My hump, my hump, my hump, my lovely little lumps. (Check it out)**

I drive these brothers crazy,  
I do it on the daily,  
They treat me really nicely,  
They buy me all these ice-ys.  
Dolce & Gabbana,  
Fendi and then Donna  
Karan, they be sharin'  
All their money got me wearin' fly  
But I ain't askin,  
They say they love my ass 'n,  
Seven Jeans, True Religion's,  
I say no, but they keep givin'  
So I keep on takin'  
And no I ain't taken  
We can keep on datin'  
I keep on demonstrating.

Everyone fell to the floor, sweatdropping like mad. The fuck was Konan singing about?! They didn't buy her ice-ys! And who the hell were Dolce, Gabbana, Fendi, Donna, and Karan?!

**Konan:**

**My love, my love, my love, my love  
You love my lady lumps,  
My hump, my hump, my hump,  
My humps they got u,**

And the weirdest part was, Pein walked in and suddenly joined in on the song.

**Pein:**

**She's got me spending.**

**Konan:**

**(Oh) Spendin' all your money on me and spending time on me.**

**Pein:**

**She's got me spending.**

**Konan:**

**(Oh) Spendin' all your money on me, up on me, on me**

Ok, something was SERIOUSLY wrong with all of them. Then HIDAN flounced in and began:

**Hidan:**

**What you gon' do with all that junk?  
All that junk inside that trunk?**

**Konan:**

**I'ma get, get, get, get, you drunk,  
Get you love drunk off my hump.**

**Tobi:**

**What u gon' do with all that ass?  
All that ass inside them jeans?**

All of the Akatsuki gasped at Tobi. He was talking about Leader-sama's woman?! Boy, was he in the hole. But Pein didn't seem to mind a bit.

**Konan:**

**I'm a make, make, make, make you scream  
Make u scream, make you scream.  
Cuz of my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump.  
My hump, my hump, my hump, my lovely lady lumps. (Check it out)**

Ok, now DEIDARA couldn't even help himself; he knew the next lines SO FRIKKEN WELL.

**Deidara:**

**I met a girl down at the disco.  
She said hey, hey, hey yea let's go.  
I could be your baby, you can be my honey  
Lets spend time not money.  
I mix your milk wit my cocoa puff,  
Milky, milky cocoa,  
Mix your milk with my cocoa puff, milky, milky riiiiiiight.**

**Konan:**

**They say I'm really sexy,  
The boys they wanna sex me.  
They always standing next to me,  
Always dancing next to me,  
Tryin' a feel my hump, hump.  
Lookin' at my lump, lump.  
U can look but you can't touch it,  
If you touch it I'ma start some drama,  
You don't want no drama,  
No, no drama, no, no, no, no drama  
So don't pull on my hand boy,  
You ain't my man, boy,  
I'm just tryn'a dance boy,  
And move my hump.**

Itachi died, right on the couch, but only Kisame cared. "Itachi!!" the fish-man...boy...ninja thingy cried his lover's name. Everyone rolled their eyes.

**Konan:**

**My hump, my hump, my hump, my hump,  
My hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump.  
My lovely lady lumps [x3]  
In the back and in the front.  
My lovin' got u,**

**Pein:**

**She's got me spendin'.**

**Konan:**

**(Oh) Spendin' all your money on me and spending time on me.**

**Pein:**

**She's got me spending...**

**Konan:**

**(Oh) Spendin' all your money on me, up on me, on me.**

This time Kazuku walked in, and he absolutely ADORED this song!!

**Kazuku:**

**What you gon' do with all that junk?  
All that junk inside that trunk?**

**Konan:**

**I'ma get, get, get, get you drunk,  
Get you love drunk off my hump.**

**Tobi:**

**What you gon' do with all that ass?  
All that ass inside them jeans?**

**Konan:**

**I'ma make, make, make, make you scream  
Make you scream, make you scream.**

Hidan couldn't help but sigh wearily and join in.

**Hidan:**

**What you gon do with all that junk?  
All that junk inside that trunk?**

**Konan:**

**I'ma get, get, get, get you drunk,  
Get you love drunk off this hump.**

**Deidara:**

**What you gon' do wit all that breast?  
All that breast inside that shirt?**

Now this time, Pein's left eye twitched and he bitch-slapped Deidara across the room, but Konan still replied eagerly:

**Konan:**

**I'ma make, make, make, make you work  
Make you work, work, make you work.**

**Pein:**

**She's got me spendin'.**

**Konan: (Oh) Spendin all your money on me and spendin' time on me**

**Pein: She's got me spending...**

**Konan: (Oh) Spendin' all your money on me, up on me, on me.**

As if things couldn't get any weirder, Zetsu walked in covered in....white gooey stuff, but still ended:

**Zetsu:**

**So real...**

Konan stared at Tobi.

Tobi stared at Deidara.

Deidara stared at Hidan.

Hidan stared at Kazuku.

Kazuku stared at Zetsu.

Zetsu stared at Pein.

"..."

And all the Akatsuki members shrugged and carried on with their day, but Konan made a mental note to herself. Don't listen to the radio anymore.

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**Me: Totally weird, right? Akatsuki crack is FUUUUUUUUUUUUUN!**

**I don't care if you R&R, cuz this was just one of those random fics I put out there. =P**


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